Valentine’s Day is meant to be a time when couples can express their love for one another. In relationships struggling with infidelity, Valentine’s Day can be a source of friction and anxiety. In fact, research has shown that 30% of people that are having affairs are cheating on Valentine's Day. In fact, tension around the holiday is so heightened that breakups often occur the day before and the day after.
Why Valentine’s Day Is Heartbreaking for Many
Cheating partners do not put as much energy into their relationships. This becomes very apparent on Valentine’s Day when partners expect a little more effort from their spouses.
If a partner notices their significant other is acting strange, distant, or secretive, it may raise their suspicions that they are cheating on Valentine’s Day.
Many Partners Uncover Cheating on Valentine’s Day
As heartbreaking as it is, many unsuspecting partners find out about their partner’s cheating on Valentine’s Day. They may find a receipt for a gift that they didn’t receive or notice strange transactions on their partner’s credit card.
Many people catch their partner cheating on Valentine’s Day due to racy text messages from the affair partner. No matter how the infidelity gets exposed, it is a heart-wrenching event for the betrayed partner. Regaining trust after infidelity requires introspection and honest communication. Working with a qualified couples therapist can facilitate recovery and help you rebuild the bonds of your relationships. Contact us TODAY for a FREE INTRODUCTORY SESSION.
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It's a common phenomenon
According to a recent survey of married people engaged in affairs, nearly a third spend Valentine’s Day with someone besides their spouse.
One reason for the high rate of cheating on Valentine’s Day is that showing affection on that particular day is important to many people. If a cheater fails to make the day special, they could risk losing the extramarital relationship.
Since the bond with the spouse has a stronger foundation, some cheaters decide to prioritize the affair. This dynamic also explains how cheaters divide their time between their partners. The same survey found that people cheating on Valentine’s Day are more likely to rent hotel rooms for their affair partners and opt for a nice dinner with their spouses. After that, cheaters find ways to slip away from their spouses, such as inventing work emergencies. These excuses, combined with other subtle behavior changes, can make the spouse’s alarm bells ring.
Cheating on Valentine’s Day Highlights Relationship Rifts
Cheating can be defined in many ways and doesn’t always include an ongoing affair. Other types of infidelity, such as emotional infidelity or porn addiction, can also influence how the cheater behaves on or around Valentine’s Day.
For example, a spouse with a porn addiction may feel especially disengaged and distant on Valentine’s Day, as the high expectations may not align with their feelings about their partner. In order to cope with their negative feelings, they may indulge in their addiction by watching pornography or visiting a sex worker.
Similarly, Valentine’s Day can cause either partner to re-evaluate their relationship. Unfortunately, instead of being honest and open with their partners, some people cope with this realization by cheating. For this reason, Valentine’s Day and the day after are two of the most common times to start an affair.
Cheating on Valentine’s Day Can Have a Lasting Effect
For couples managing infidelity, uncovering cheating on Valentine’s Day can have an especially harrowing effect on the relationship. Since the holiday places so much emphasis on togetherness and romance, dealing with the betrayal can make the partner feel very isolated.
Additionally, if the relationship does survive, the holiday will always bring back painful memories. The betrayed partner may have a difficult time accepting or trusting any romantic gestures. This can prevent the relationship from growing past the infidelity.
If you have been caught cheating on Valentine’s Day, and are fighting to salvage your relationship, talking to a qualified couples counselor can help.