Cheating sends a strong message to your partner: your needs come before theirs. Unless you can show through your words and actions that this is no longer true, your relationship has very little chance of recovering from infidelity. Before any healing or forgiveness can begin, you must ask yourself, “What motivates my behavior?” and “How do I stop cheating?”
Saying that you will stop cheating is easy. The truth is, cheating once greatly increases the likelihood that you will do it again.
Start by raising your self awareness
While cheating only has one cause, your decisions, the reasons why you cheat may stem from multiple factors. Raising your self-awareness is the only way to answer the question, “How do I stop cheating?” Understanding how your emotions and thoughts influence your behaviors will give you insight into your choices and help you stop cheating.
Recognize Your Behavior Patterns
Cheating doesn’t occur in a vacuum. Instead, infidelity is a harmful response to a situation or emotion. For example, some people are more tempted to cheat when they feel anger or resentment towards their partner. Other people cheat as a way to block intimacy or avoid conflict.
You may already know the specific triggers that lead you to cross the line and betray your relationship. Perhaps, you are more likely to stray after a fight with your spouse. Or, it may be certain dates, like your anniversary, Valentine’s Day, or your birthday, that remind you of the lack of fulfillment you feel in your life or your relationship. Addressing these underlying emotional causes can stop cheating cycles.
It is also possible that you do not know what drives you to cheat. You will never have a true answer to “How do I stop cheating?” if your motivations for cheating elude you.
Either way, a therapist can help you recognize your behavior patterns and address their root causes. The therapy team at Peter Stathakos and Associates will help you gain the insight you need to stop the cycle of infidelity for good. We invite you to book a FREE consultation with us TODAY and start addressing your motivations for cheating.
Break Patterns of Infidelity
Identifying what drives you to cheat brings you much closer to answering the question “How do I stop cheating?”
This is because you will be able to effectively change your behaviors and prevent opportunities for infidelity to occur in the first place. If your last affair started online, you can stop cheating by blocking access to specific websites and apps.
It is also essential to cut ties with your affair partner(s). Be honest and upfront about your situation. Ending an affair can be painful. However, you must close that chapter so that you can devote all your energy to preserving your relationship with your partner.
How Do I Stop Cheating and Rebuild Trust?
Ending your affair will not eliminate the problems that lead you to cheat in the first place. Until you face these issues head-on, there is always the possibility that you will cheat again.
You should re-set boundaries for yourself and your relationship. If you are a habitual cheater, avoid scenarios that could lead to infidelity. For example, do not give your contact information to individuals you may develop an attraction to. Also, do not take substances that could lower your inhibition or impair your judgment.
Building trust also hinges on constant and honest communication. You cannot expect your partner to forgive you overnight. Rather than turning to another person when your relationship is facing difficulties, you must learn more appropriate coping strategies that will strengthen your bond with your partner.
Stop Cheating by Working on Yourself
If you are asking yourself “How do I stop cheating?” it shows that you are willing to break your patterns and salvage your relationship. However, this is just the first step in what will be a challenging process.
To truly regain your partner’s trust and rebuild your relationship, you will need to feel secure in yourself. You will have to commit to doing the emotional work, even if it is difficult.